making good decisions

I asked some friends this:  I’m thinking about making good decisions this morning. I would like your opinion as to how people learn to make good decisions and how we can adapt our lives in making good decisions. Can you give me some insight?  Here are some of their responses.

Probably should start by asking better people than me about making good decisions More seriously though, I would say find good people to be around and pay attention. They won't do everything right but they're willing to admit when they're wrong. And that helps because I've probably learned more from being wrong than being right.

Start by making a case study of those making poor decisions and do the opposite. Pick good mentors.

…..it depends, of course on the nature of the situation,….. but you should: 1)evaluate options 2)seek advice 3)pray for guidance 4)don’t procrastinate or delay.

On important issues, I call upon the Holy Spirit to nudge me One Direction, or the other to help me in making the right decision and he usually does. If that don’t work, I call upon my wife to make the decision for me ha ha.

I think you broke my brain with that one!! Seems to me environment is huge. Environment and desire. And desire is so hard to create in someone. I know things I desire I pursue. But things I don’t, people can encourage me, but it won’t happen until I want it. Being around the right people. Get away from bad influences. That’s all I got!!!

 I think the key to good decisions is setting up habits and routines. I would suggest starting small and stacking. So depending on what you want to work on I would set a habit to go for a walk first thing in the morning. That’s where I would start. Then my belief is it will snowball into other good habits and routines. Another good book - power of habit talks about the “keystone” habit. It’s a habits that unlocks / snowballs other habits. Short answer start with a habit or routine first thing in the morning and my suggestion would be a walk. 2nd step is an accountability partner - you are 39.5% likely to accomplish a goal if you write it down. You are 76.7% likely to accomplish a goal if you send progress reports to someone.

If it’s a really big one I pray for help! I try to not make it when I’m angry and I might run it by my wife or a friend. Past experience helps and we have all had plenty of that!!

Take the time to weigh all the options. Then pray about what option is the best for everyone. Or just throw the ball to me! (i.e. Inside joke--I played basketball with this friend and I made him an All-American ‘cause I threw the ball to him all the time; I should have shot more!!!!)

Probably my parents, by example, taught good decision making in areas such as thrift, perseverance, and using common sense. Being free to make everyday decisions is something we take for granted, but aren’t we fortunate to navigate our lives as we wish! I am grateful everyday for this freedom. We can choose vocations, our friends, recreation, food choices and what color to paint the house! For more impactful decisions, it’s important to weigh pros and cons and evaluate the long term effects. Ask the experts, get facts. Decision making changes as we age whether we like it or not. I will no longer climb up Mt. Adams because my body says NO! We hear, sometimes disdainfully, , “He/she is slowing down.” I say slowing down is a privilege we earn, and a pleasure!

I would agree with the importance of prayer and seeking wisdom from God through biblical insight. Also if you have a spouse discuss the issue with them. Also if you have trusted friends you can ask for their thoughts.

I like to take some time and think Do some research. Weigh the pros and cons and take your time. 

I used to tell my students (driver ed & classroom) life boils down to the decisions you make. Sometimes you get do overs, but often you don't. When you get to the pearly gate, you can't ask for a second chance. In my humble opinion, you often learn to make good decisions by making some bad ones.

Proverbs 11:14 says “in abundance of counselors there is victory.” I always helps to run my big plans past some trusted friends. They will have opinions about my plans, and their wisdom can be a word from God.

For me it’s slow down, step back and look at the big picture.   Do I really need something, say something, or do something and does that help me or someone else?  Also run it by my wife!  

James 1: 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

That patient thing is good but hard. Several years ago the doctor wanted me tested. Tested for patience. It came back negative...I didn't have any. And my wife says "I win again"!

I have a tract by A W Tozer in my Bible. A paraphrase... the happy truth is that the majority of decisions touching our lives God expresses no choice and allows us to choose our preferences, (using principles found in God's Word). "Where there is no clear instructions, pray and ask God and let the Spirit lead.".....

Pray, get all the facts, be patient. Then check with Mr.R. He never makes any bad decisions. Unless it's something to do with women, then you better call me, Mr.R is not that good with women.

You got any easier questions? 

Can’t tell if people learn to be good decision makers or if it is an inherent trait. Sometimes the definition of a good decision is in the eye of the beholder. People who are risk takers can know that they are going to miss on a few decisions but if they keep trying, they will learn and eventually succeed. Others will view the failures and call them bad decision makers. That is a wishy-washy answer but I think there is some truth in it.

Read the Bible. Pray. Ask people with similar beliefs as you.

Just do it... give something a try and you will gain experience . With experience comes knowledge, whether you made a good decision or not. Ask for opinions from those you trust. Keep trying, don't give up, be open to learning, be open to feedback, take a risk and use the feedback.

Ask your wife'

Have a FUN day my friends unless you have other plans. (-:

erv

MyDeceasedFriendJean said--Few people travel the road to success without a puncture or two.

 Zinger--Because of the advice I got from a friend/wife/Jeanne, I am going to try to quit drinking diet soda! Suck it up erv, and let's get going!

anomaly

I try! I constantly try! I try my best! That is all I can do! I just try! WhackoFromChicago'sSouthSide says--erv, you are a strange duck!

Have we ever been told that we are the shoe on the wrong foot! Or is it we are just a happenstance, or are we just one of God’s miracles or are we just an anomaly? Or is it ‘cause we are innovative and creative that we just make it happen. Hey, if we walk like a duck and quack like a duck, we're a strange duck!

Some change is not an unexpected circumstance a.k.a. an anomaly but some change is! JoeSmartBusinessPerson says—"The panic is half rumor, half reality. What’s actually happening is more strategic than scandalous.” We see and hear of corporations closing retail outlets or offices and we wonder if they are going broke or what. If things aren’t going well, it might be a time for a change. The past isn’t now or it isn’t the future (i.e. they got to get rid of the dead horses that are costing them money). It appears that history proves that. For a profit-driven company, profit is needed to stay afloat (i.e. now that is pretty simple and not an anomaly). My Daddy, Chester, told me—"erv, you can’t spend more than you make. Unless you borrow money for something that will appreciate in value or makes a profit but never borrow money on something that depreciates and doesn’t make a profit; if you want to buy something that depreciates and doesn’t make a profit (i.e. like squeaky toys), save the money before you buy it.” Now Chester’s thinking is pretty much an anomaly in our culture I would guess.

A friend told me he would like me to express more of what I think and not what others think. The reason why I don’t is I’m not certain my thinking is always sooo good or accurate. Now you understand. I will express my anomaly about this thinking (i.e. for what it’s worth to you). Remember, you get what you pay for! Jesus was an anomaly. Jesus was the most counter-cultural revolutionary you could imagine, who led perfectly with grace and compassion and justice. It takes humility to follow that kind of Savior. Everywhere Jesus went, he told people to follow him. He never said to follow a principle or a program or even a religion—but a person. He said, “You are blessed whenever you follow my example” (John 13:17). I ask some folks if they are believers sometimes. I don’t ask what church they go to or if they go to church or not, but if they are a believer. Now that is a very simple question and really isn’t much different than asking them if they play pickleball. I usually don’t say much or anything about how they answer the question unless they ask. BUT I believe there is a huge massive difference between believers and unbelievers. Soooo there my friend, that is my thinking. You asked for it. Now the ball is in your court!

Recently Jeanne and I had an opportunity presented to us. It was a good one that fit us quite well. BUT there were cons to the opportunity as well. The opportunity was sorta kinda an anomaly in that it might not ever happen again for us (i.e. because of timing in our lives). What were we going to do? Good question. We discussed it and talked about the upside and the downside. Tough decision. We called some folks for their opinion and wisdom. We have the option (i.e. we like options); the decision wasn’t necessarily good or bad. We gave it our best shot. That is all we could do! We tried our best! We think we made the right decision. Such is life.

This seems to be an anomaly to me. It seems our values, morals and even our money management has downgraded. SusieQ asks—What is a balanced budget? Usually, we want to upgrade and not downgrade (e.g. like wanting a new advanced vehicle with the newest technology). Not very many folks want to downgrade that I know of. I’m thinking about trying to buy this pickup down the street! Probably not! Saturday question—Have we ever been content with our life? IitchieBitchie says—C’mon erv, being content is not American! Get with it! Where have you been!

An anomaly can come along that we didn’t see it happening at all and had no idea that it would happen. That anomaly could be very good or not sooo good. There was no way we could see it coming. BUT some things we can see it coming, the odds are in the favor of it happening, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see it coming (i.e. they are just too risky which makes them quite predictable)! The pic is of a tree in our neighborhood. It’s maybe 15 years old and the prevailing wind kept blowing it over to lean to the east. No one staked it against the wind. Soooo now it probably is impossible to straighten. Think about that folks in applying it to life. That is not an anomaly. Saturday question—If we have learned some way of thinking through the years, how will we ever change that way of thinking? JoeBlow says—It’s tough but it can be done! There is a proven way!

This is a multiple choice question! Is this story an anomaly, happenstance or one of God’s miracles?  A client sitting at my desk told me this story maybe 30 years ago. He told me he was the town drunk and had an accident. Having no money or insurance he was sent to the University Hospital where they work on such folks. He said everyone treated him just who he was, the town drunk. They really didn’t want to waste their time and money on him. One night an Angel came in his room and told him that if he believed in Jesus, his life would totally change or otherwise he would die the town drunk. He changed. The next day the staff told him he was a different person. He never drank again and yes, his life was completely different. And is your answer A, B or C? Oh, he said that he tells his story to very few folks as they will just think I’m just the town drunk!

Ok folks, And here is the conclusion of the matter, how do you or I know what we believe is the truth? We might believe it is the truth but maybe it isn’t as we can believe anything we want and that makes it the truth to us. We can believe anyone on Facebook, and they might not have a clue! Or believe a professor at an university or a person at the coffee shop sharing their belief or a brother-in-law or our spouse or our parents. Or maybe the truth is what we experienced in our life and mind and heart and soul. Sooo is our reality what we think the truth really is? Soooo maybe what we just read is just thought provoking but we each get to decide what we want to believe! It is very obvious that we all don’t believe the same or ever will while we are alive here under the sun (i.e. now that is the truth)!  That's my opinion! But remember folks, I'm just a little ol' farm boy from a mile and quarter south of Roseland, MN. 

said to 100,000 folks in the square--"...not to judge, not to close doors thinking hat we have all the truth and no one can tell us anything."

A little old, odd man from San Francisco says--I try to be my self, I don't try to be someone I'm not; I have learned it never works to be a fake. I am who I am! I just try to be myself a.k.a. the real deal!

Have a FUN day my friends unless you have other plans. (-:

erv

MyDeceasedFriendJean said—Happiness is an unexpected hug.

a boost

In the musical Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye is tortured by the uncertainties swirling around his life and family, asks his wife, “Do you love me?” She replies, “Do I what? Look what I’ve been doing for you the past 25 years!” Love is best measured not by words but by actions. Love is such a boost; to love someone or to be loved by someone. That is my opinion.

When I think of a boost I think of a little push like lifting. Then when a car battery is low or dead, we give it a boost. Then maybe a kid sitting in a booster seat. Then a psychological boost a.k.a. encouragement comes to my mind. What is your first thought that comes to your mind when you think of a boast?

I was communicating with an old Butler County friend by text. I asked her how she was, and she said--I'm as ornery as ever--so I must be fine! She made me smile! Yes, she did. She gave me a boost!

A NBA player, Giannis Antetokounmpo, is called “The Greek Freak” as he is that great. Fans call him a freak and it’s a great compliment to him (i.e. a boost to his confidence). AverageJoe says—I don’t think I will call my wife “The American Freak.” I don’t think that would be a good idea; she would not understand that; I’m sure.  It’s like when a person calls another guy tough it’s a compliment usually but if I would call Jeanne a tough woman it’s not soooo much. And the reality is that she is a very tough person (i.e. mentally and physically strong) as well as being very sweet and kind. It should really be a complement a.k.a. a boost but it appears it might not be understood quite the same as I would mean it (i.e. maybe it could be problematic)! Maybe flowers will be better!

Are we wallowing in a mud hole? What kind of mud hole might we be in? There are many alright and they all are yucky, stinky and dirty. How are we going to get out of them? Who or what is going to give us a boost? What will that boost look like? Are we going to be the boost for someone? Who has been our boost when we were in a mud hole? Or do folks even really want to get out of their mud hole?

CoachB says--If something is constantly tempting us or is constantly irritating us, we should get it out from around us, life will work a lot better. It will give us a boost. CadillacJack says—That is not rocket science, but it really helps to be reminded. Soooo simple but sometimes we are soooo comfortable with our environment and don’t want to change! Violet Stillwater says--Maybe it’s not soooo easy! Such is life.

Recently I had the opportunity to visit with a longtime friend who I haven’t talked to for a long time. He is part-owner and was part of the management team of a large, very successful retail chain company that he was a part of from pretty much from their start. I asked him what’s their niche a.k.a. boast that makes them soooo successful in such a competitive market. He said—Two major things are: we hire quality employees and then train them very well. We found that quality attracts quality. It has really worked for us. My old friend is a top shelf person. I think it starts at the top!

Has a mentor or a person who was an admired example, influenced us, like gave us a boost in our life? Or how about someone who gave us a break or a second chance after we messed up. Or someone who took a chance on us from the get-go. Or even someone who helped us financially to give us an opportunity that we would never have had without their help. I personally have had many boosts in my life (i.e. many by you folks) and I’m very appreciative of them and hopefully we boost others.

I think of boaster clubs and individuals in schools that support extra circular activities of students. What a boast a.k.a. a lift for many students. Or folks who help students with some part of learning that they are having trouble with (i.e. wow, what a boast for many kids). Many of those boasters will never know what they did for kids. Saturday question--Are we a boaster rocket or a dud rocket?

I see Red Bull advertised on TV to give a person a boast. I don’t know if it works as I have never tried it. A great boast for me is Jesus as my example, reading the Bible, meditating, reading my devotions, praying, going to church and being around other believers. It sorta kinda rings my bell a.k.a. boasts my life. You might prefer Red Bull or getting some new high-tech sports equipment or a getting a new vehicle or some other stimuli. ItchieBitchie says I prefer to win the lottery for my boast in life!

I just read that statistics say that about 23% of children in America are raised in a one parent family. Statistics say that one out of three children in the black community in America do not have a daddy in the home. A child raised by loving parents has to be a boast to a child; that’s my opinion.

Humor is a great boast to folks. No question in my mind. The greatest was maybe Abraham Lincoln, one of my heroes, who used humor in the strangest of times and often (i.e. used it almost as parables) which broke tension and just made folks more human (i.e. gave them a boast). An example was during a tremulous cabinet meeting when he told this story: The farmer encounters a large, old tree with a hollow core, rendering it unstable. He is torn between the potential danger of the tree falling and the effort required to cut it down safely. He ends up wishing he hadn't noticed the tree, expressing a desire to ignore the problem. Here is another: I leave it to my audience, --if I had another face to wear, do you think I would wear this one?—(i.e. Lincoln had been called a “two-faced man” by Douglas).

The old saying of—"The whole is greater than the sum of the parts” is thought provoking to me. I am big on being around good folks as I think it influences us very positively.  Now to me that is a huge massive boost. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!... A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

Have a FUN day my friends unless you have other plans. (-:

erv

MyDeceasedFriend said—Good bread with fresh butter—the greatest of feasts.

odd

These words seem to be sorta kinda odd to me: Kerfuffle, dissimulate, whippersnapper, bibble, gobbledygook, and cattywampus. Sooooo what makes them odd do you think?

“When I started to count my blessings, my whole life turned around.”—Willie Nelson  Now that might seem odd to some of you and to others it makes complete sense! Soooo who is odd?

“In a chronically leaking boat, energy used devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”—Warren Buffet  Now that might seem odd to some of you and to others it makes complete sense. Sooo who is odd?

Dr.J says—"The key to victory involves our mental diet (i.e. that’s not a head spinning idea). If we feed our thoughts with rotten images and rancid concepts, we’ll be spiritually sick. But if we feed our minds with what is true, noble, just pure, lovely, and praiseworthy, they will be constantly revived and renewed (Philippians 4:8).” It’s maybe like what we put in will come out! Or what we think is what we'll be! I have a friend who I think has two dogs fighting in their heart and soul; a black dog and a while dog; and those dogs maybe have been there all their life; I don’t know. And this friend feeds both of them it seems. My friend is sorta kinda a mugwump (i.e. or what I call a mugrumper—the old bird has their mug on one side of the fence and their rump on the other). That seems odd to me. Why they would do that!

RickyRick says—"We all have an “I” problem: I want it my way; I will do my thing; I have to take care of myself first; I don’t have time for others; I am the most important thing.” It appears to me that many folks are at the mercy of others and have no choice (i.e. including me). Others might send a rocket, and others are dead as an example; one of many situations. I question myself if I or you have any control of any others. Are others at our mercy and grace! What do you think? Do we have power over others? Do others have power over us?

I try to stay in the moment, but it isn’t always easy to impossible. It is very odd how our mind affects us in soooo many ways. OneSmartPerson says--Staying in the moment means embracing the present with all its quirks and mysteries. It's about acknowledging the oddities around us while finding peace in the here and now. When life throws peculiarities our way, it's an opportunity to pause, reflect, and appreciate the diverse tapestry of our experiences. Take a deep breath, look around, and notice the small details—the rustle of leaves, the warmth of sunlight, the sound of laughter. These moments, though seemingly insignificant, weave together the fabric of our existence. By staying present, we can better understand the nuances of our journey and the lessons it offers. As we navigate the peculiarities of life, remember that each moment holds its own beauty and wisdom. Embrace the oddities, cherish the present, and let the flow of time guide you to a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around us.

This might sound odd to you, and it might be odd!  I would like you to think about some of the accomplishments you have made in your life. Those major accomplishments might be accomplishments that no one else even knows about but are major to you. I want you to cherish them, enjoy them and let yourself feel good about them, reminisce with yourself about the good feelings, appreciate yourself, give yourself some ra ra! Even write them down! Admire them! We all have done some good stuff!

Another odd word to me that I never heard before is “formalist.” What can Judas teach us? For one thing, he shows us the danger as how John Bunyan described Judas in character. He called him a Formalist. Formalist is an outwardly religious person but inwardly unconverted. Formalism is having the appearance of faith without the reality; it’s talking the talk without walking the walk. They are not the real deal but a fake, they put on a show. SusieQ says—erv, it’s soooo hard for me to be real all the time; I can be a real phony at times; I'm quite good at it; I can really fake it at times; I'm sorta kinda maybe odd at times! Such is life.

Now I don’t think this is odd, no I don’t. I read while eating my oatmeal with half a banana on it, that having a relationship with someone who we can share with, trust, depend on, and enjoy their company makes one’s life much better. Da! We need others! To have such a relationship gives humans a dynamite feeling. To add to that relationship is to love someone and to be loved by someone is a supreme feeling. I am thinking of a person who doesn’t seem happy or content and doesn’t seem to have such a great relationship soooo it appears. It appears that their life is in a quagmire! I would expect that many folks would like a great relationship. And there are many folks who have/had great relationships. And there are many folks who have a lot of scar tissue from relationships as well! Such is life.

The old saying is--We buy on rumor and sell on fact! This might seem odd to you but then again maybe not  A long-time friend a.k.a. point man responded this way when I asked him what his business marketing plan was maybe 4 years ago—“The marketing plan varies if you don’t put it in writing; it seems as though as time goes along we remember it differently.” Boy, that happens in ervie's life plan; it changes alright. Now that is odd or is it just realty!

My mentor told me—"A true gift has no strings attached. If there are strings attached, then it’s a business deal.” WorldClassLarry says—"It’s much like if you want recognition for a gift, then it’s advertising.”  When someone gets a gift and doesn’t understand why they got it, now that is really a gift, actually a special gift. But it might seem odd to some folks. Such is life.

Have a FUN day my friends unless you have other plans. (-:

erv

MyDeceasedFriendJean said—The odds are always with you if you keep trying.