regroup and start over

I sometimes send out “It’s Saturday” early.  It is because of what Micky Rooney once said—Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day!

Robert McNamara, a former Secretary of Defense, said—“Brains are like hearts, they go where they are appreciated.  Now he could be right.  A few of us, who have lost spouses to dementia have had some discussion.  Our lives are taking a new direction and we aren’t sure where that will go.  We guess that there are many factors that will direct our paths.  Probably to some degree, how some folks encourage us will be a factor.  What do you think?  That is what I thought. It appears we will need to regroup and, in some cases, start over. 

I told some of you that I lost my interest in reading since Arlene passed on.  I did until I got a copy the book, grieving with hope (i.e. a Christian based book) from one of my investment companies and my broker.  It intrigued me sooooo I read it.  Parts of it was excellent for me and my situation but it might not be excellent for you.  We are all different now aren’t we? SusieQ said--Especially for you, DifferentSophie!!!!  I didn’t say that DifferentSophie, SusieQ said that!  Sooooo if you don’t agree with SusieQ, you take that up with her; don’t contact me (i.e. this is nonreplyemail)!!!!  I am going to share just a couple of things.  We all grief differently and are unique and that is for many reasons (e.g. if you never liked the person who passed on, you have no grief; you are happy they are died and can’t wait to open up the piggy bank) compared to losing a great friend who you loved for years.  I really liked the chapter entitled, How Your Thinking Shapes Your Grief.  You can interpret that any way you want (i.e. you folks are smart). I really liked this reference and have memorized it. It’s a Bible verse that is full of heavenly wisdom and is also full of earthly wisdom for those of you who are not a believer.  Philippians 4:8: Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” A friend sent me a note recently (i.e. very uplifting and encouraging).  She sent some great quotes.  Here is one—“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.—Abe Lincoln (i.e. your favorite).

I was touched by a very good college friend of Arlene in what she wrote me recently.  It seemed like I could understand her emotions partly, maybe and maybe I was out in right field (i.e. she went through a divorce and also lost a son).  She said this—"Seems impossible I have only waved as I drove to the beach to sit in my car with a book.  At least the sun feels good on walks.  But, have to admit I miss personal friendships where we give a hug, have a glass of wine, or go out for dinner.” Now you can read into that statement anything you feel.  Yes, anything you feel based on your emotions of your current environment and past environment.  A friend and I had a conversation recently (i.e. I have had a lot of conversations with many of you folks—I soooo much enjoy them).  He knows me quite well (i.e. whatever that means).  He told me that some of what I write in “It’s Saturday” he has no idea what I’m saying and parts of what I write he understands right on.  I told him that the fun part in that you can interpret it the way you want, and your interpretation will be way different, maybe, than the next person and maybe way different than what I’m trying to communicate and your interpretation is right to each of you.  You folks might think I’m in right field and you are in left field and the next time vice versa.  I don’t even have to try to do that, it comes naturally!  haha  As I told Arlene’s good college friend in my reply—That is what Arlene had to put up with! On the first page of the book on grieving, it says that we are all different and unique!  Seeee!

We all interpret information differently based on many reasons for sure.  LenaFromFargo (i.e. she might have been in the movie Fargo) was sitting in the airport reading the Fargo/Moorhead Forum. The headline blared, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed." She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the stranger sitting next to her and asked, "How many is a Brazilian?"

A friend told me recently that they leave something out to remind them that they have to do something (e.g. leave their checkbook on the counter). That reminds me what has to be done but yet I always don’t get after it very fast! I do that, yes I do.  Sometimes I leave it there for quite some time before I do it.  I have tooooo laugh at myself many times.  Then one day I feel like doing it and I do it or I have toooo for some reason.  The screwdriver has been on the washing machine for several days to remind me to put a screw in the door.  The door keeps working sooooo I haven’t done it yet!!!  Sooooo do you think that maybe this virus reminds folks that they are going to die (i.e. sometime), and they are scared tooooo die?  JoeDeath says—Everyone is scared of death.  You think that is true?  Maybe that is why many folks buy toilet paper!  A friend was waiting in line to pay for his pizza at Casey’s (i.e. 6 feet apart).  A gal about 25 who was ahead of him and says to him empathically—we are all going to die!  My friend told her that it wasn’t that bad; you might be over-reacting a little bit.  If you are soooo worried about dying, why are you buying that pack of cigarettes?  She told him she has been smoking since 7^th grade and can’t quit.  Huh, interesting!

WorldClassLarry says--It depends how you look at it. Coach says that context is more important that content.  This is how he explains that.  If we can change our thinking from what we got a.k.a. content to our attitude a.k.a. context, life will be much better.  He says that stuff constantly changes but our rock-solid positive attitude doesn’t. Suck it up cupcake and let’s get going!  What Coach  just said is perfectly clear to some of you and maybe not at all tooooo others!  haha You can interpret it how it fits your ego; it’s up to you. Here is something else to think about; I believe this verse— For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  How do you believe that, or do you believe that at all?  You can interpret it the way you want based on your many experiences.  Coach says—Much of what we get is what we expect and anticipate.  If we expect and anticipate that we are going to get bad stuff, we will and if we anticipate and expect we are going to get good stuff, we will.  All folks get good stuff and bad stuff in their life, without exception.  What we get is based on our attitude of anticipation and expectation.  Willie Nelson said—Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.

ThePersonFromNorthOfTown (i.e. who thinks different than most folks) says--To stop defeating yourself, you must stop deceiving yourself. You need to take an honest look at your life, face the truth, and deal with the issues a.k.a. reality. What in your life are you pretending isn’t a problem or you’re addicted to? What are you saying “It’s no big deal” about?  Maybe it’s time to regroup and start over! It appears that many business models will have to change.  Many businesses, family budgets, education methods, churches, etc. will not make it by using the same old models.  No matter how much folks don’t like to change; it’s probably a time when organizations might have to change or be burnt toast!  Maybe it’s a good time to reevaluate current models and maybe make adjustments, even regroup and maybe start over especially if the old model wasn’t working that good during good times.  Da!  LuckieEddie says—There is a time you got to quit kicking a dead horse and this might be the time!  JoeMessup says—We all mess up, but what we do after we mess up is what makes the difference.  Do we just wallow in the mess up or do we bounce back?  Such is life.

I read this one morning while eating my oatmeal with half a banana on it--“Napoleon Bonaparte was the emperor of France and a feared military leader. One day, Napoleon’s beloved horse got loose and ran away from the army camp. One of the soldiers, a private, immediately took off and chased after it. The soldier eventually caught up to the horse, guided it back to the camp, bathed it, and then returned it to Napoleon. Engrossed in other matters, Napoleon didn’t even bother to acknowledge the soldier. However, at some point, he looked up and said three simple words: “Thank you, Colonel.” The soldier then left, packed up his bags, and moved into the officers’ quarters. There was no need for paperwork or an announcement. If Napoleon said he was a colonel, that’s all that was necessary.”  When you say to someone in a conversation, my friend, it means a lot (i.e. that is if you do it sincerely and not manipulatively—you and they know your intention if you are real or a phony (i.e. even a small kid can figure that out).  It doesn’t have to be a huge massive production but maybe even be doing it casually might have more of an impact (i.e. they will hear it and it will affect them).  Do you like it when someone calls you their friend?  I do. You can interpret the feeling of being called a friend all differently. Such is life.

As the song says—After you’ve been having steak for a long time, beans beans taste fine!  I think many folks are going to have to regroup and start over.  I hope many folks like beans.  Our economy and personal spending has been fat for some time.  Many folks probably will now have a very skinny income.  It probably will affect many lifestyles.  No question.  TomSmart asks—Soooo does that mean that folks will actually become physically skinny?  I don’t know but during the Great Depression, the pictures I have seen, I didn’t see fat folks.  Some friends led me by example—I just gave to the local Food Bank.  I’m not bragging about this but want you to think about giving as well (i.e. I can’t suggest it if I don’t do it—talk is cheap but it takes money to buy food—or you can pray; pray that someone else will give their money haha).  I understand that there is a huge massive need.  They need to buy beans and rice.  I say that as a large percentage of the world population lives on just that—beans and rice (i.e. like 50%).  Why?  Because it’s nutritional and cheap.  Americans seem to like burgers and fries more!  They live fatter and are fatter.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out; just look around. That’s just reality! JoeFruitcake says—But I don’t like beans and rice; I like burgers and fries!

JoeBlow asks--Why do “anonymous” always think they are sooooo smart and know all the answers?  I don’t know JoeBlow but we probably judge folks more by what they do and act than what they say.  It’s easy to say something but harder to live up to what we say.  It’s easy to preach to others how to live their life than actually live our life like we tell others tooooo. LuckieEddie says—I know folks who wear big cowboy hats but own no cattle!  Saturday question—How can some folks know sooooo much about my grieving but are not me and maybe never lost a spouse (i.e. maybe they are super-natural or think they are)? WorldClassLarry says--There is no education like personal experience and that isn’t even all accurate because we are all different and have different circumstances, maybe!  A friend, who lost his wife, told me this recently—"Time goes both fast and also slow. Simply the truth for this guy.” You folks may interpret that statement based on your experiences, but you are not him. Yes, he might be regrouping and starting over, maybe.  

None of these writings are considered revelations and they surely cannot be deemed as authoritative. They might have even added to your (mis)information overload. Soooo move on with your day; it's early yet!  MissPerfect, do you want crackers and cheese with your whine? Was just wondering.

Have a FUN day my friends unless you have other plans. (-:

erv

MyFriendJean says—For mending someone’s broken heart, the best glue is compassion.