focus

Disclaimer—I talk a whole lot more than what I do soooo be careful how you interpret what you read in this “It’s Saturday.”  Maybe I just focus on making pretty noise. Could be friends.  Soooo just relax and drink your coffee and focus on what you want and discard the rest. I think I focus much more on my troubles than I do on counting my joys.  Yes, I do.  I ask myself—erv, what kind of person are you anyway?  I read this recently that is pertinent to the timing in my life of this last week—"What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”--Helen Keller-- Focus on that folks! 

Napoleon Hill, who was a self-help author, wrote, “When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that our plans are not sound, rebuild those plans and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” Maybe a couple of weeks ago, I was playing golf and riding with my golf buddy/friend.  We both are always complaining about our game (i.e. we are both good at it).  ANYWAY, in the middle of the round I started to play much better.  He noticed it and asked me—what’s going on?  I told him that I decided I was going to focus more.  For the last 9 years during Arlene’s fight with Alzheimer’s, my focus was on her and my golf game was limited, and I had no focus on it at all.  I pretty much have played better by focusing and paying attention and trying harder from that point on.  It is still hard to stay consistent in my focus.  It is much easier to focus when practicing than when actually playing (i.e. tend to revert back to old habits).  Soooo I think there is a parallel here, but you might think it is a paradox.  Either way, it seems like we need to focus more on what is important to us with our lives.  I think we all will be better folks, especially one of you.  You know who you are!!!! 

I read that there are many kinds of tears. Some come from chopping onions. Others come from a fit of laughter. A sad movie can turn on the water works. Even smoke from a campfire can make our eyes water. Even babies begin their lives with tears. But the tears I experienced recently were from my emotions which consisted of much joy and a little of sorrow.  We had Arlene Memorial Service last Saturday.  It was a celebration of her life and her faith.  It was very touching to me. It was very much who she was (i.e. no fakie stuff for sure).  Yes, we will miss her, but we are soooo joyous that she had such a good life and was a believer in Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior.  What a happy scenario that is in that she will live forever in heaven. 

Almost all of my family were here except a couple of niece’s husbands and their children.  Chet, Jessica and family (i.e. our son and family) are the only family from Iowa.  All the rest had to come from MI, CO, MN, and OK. We had an incredible, unbelievable time.  After the service we had a reception and then the family came to my house for a party, then friends made us a big evening meal and we sat around and talked and told stories until past darkness.  It was a hoot! It was just a great day.  

The grandkids and nieces’ kids put a zillion miles on my golf cart.  It was hardly ever sitting still.  One grandkid, Erin, had a crash (i.e. no one got hurt and no damage to the cart—just tears).  We also had one grandkid, Jimmer, fall out (i.e. age 8).  The parents ran out of the house, but he got up—no tears.  A neighbor boy said to him—Dude, you gotta hang on!  He got on again and away they went.  The best “one liner” came from Gretchen, who is a daughter of a niece and her husband who is 7 (i.e. or as she said—almost 8).  I was serving desert which was a choice of two different kinds of delicious bars that friends made and ice cream.  I asked her which one she wanted.  She said—I will have all three!  I gave her all three; why not!

You friends and family have been soooo good to me and our family during this week of Arlene’s celebration of life memorial service in soooo many ways.  It’s touching.  Yes, it is.  Words cannot explain the feeling.  Many of you have been soooo good to Arlene and I during her Alzheimer’s.  Very kind and tender and loving.  I say “thanksamillion” to you folks.  You are truly good folks with good hearts. My kind of folks for sure.  There are a lot of good folks in the world and a few jerks.  That’s just the way it is and probably it has always been that way.  JoeBlow says—I hope I’m not the one folks considered a jerk. ItchieBitchie says—I really have to stay focused or I can become a jerk real fast.  Real fast!  SusieQ says--The old serpent, the devil is always trying to get into my mind, for sure!

A friend called me this week and kept apologizing that he forgot Arlene’s memorial service.  Finally I said to him—Hey, I understand and accept your apology. It’s ok, I tell you, don’t feel bad, it’s ok; I tell you, you can’t do anything bad enough to affect our friendship.  He said—erv, you can’t tell me how to feel!  

Focus on this will ya!  A friend told me that family friends were cleaning out their mother’s house after her death.  They wanted my friend to buy the house.  He gave them a very low offer as the house needed quite a bit of work.  He didn’t hear from them.  He thought he hurt their feelings by the low offer (i.e. that is the kind of guy he is).  After a while he heard back from them.  They wanted to counter offer; they lowered the price a $1,000 as they wanted him to have the house.  What!  That is what friends doooooo!!  Maybe friendship isn’t all about the money! Now that brings thunderous applause from me.    

Friends told me this story.  He was painting and needed more paint soooo went to get some.  He had his old paint clothes on which he said wasn’t pretty.  He got the paint, put it in the trunk and locked his keys in the trunk.  He had left a window open a little and asked the folks in the car next to him if they had a hanger—no.  He asked a few more folks with no success.  Soooo he went back in the store but they didn’t either.  Soooo he went back to the car when the car that was next to him pulled up.  They went to a cleaners and got him a hanger.  He told them that they were a blessing.  They didn’t get puffed up and just left.  My opinion is that when we really go out of our way to help someone, it’s even more rewarding to us and the folks we are helping; anyone can be nice when it takes no effort.

I read this while eating my oatmeal with half a banana on it--"For friends and family of caregivers, be specific with what you can/want to give.  Blanket statements such as "let me know if you need help' isn't very useful."  Some of my family were just amazed about how our friends were soooo kind and loving to our family.  Just amazed.  You guys just did more than just pray, you really helped me  WOW! 

WorldClassLarry, who is always full of wisdom except sometimes, says--What we focus on we will become good at and also that is who we will become (i.e. no question about that).  Seriously, what are you and I focusing on the most.  CadillacJack, who likes attention, says—erv, why do you ask that; I don’t like to think about what I focus on.  I saw this on back of this truck on main street.  Is this a kind of tires, a kind of chewing tobacco, a kind of spark plugs, a kind of clothing line or a kind of lifestyle? What is this person focusing on.  I don’t get it.  Help me here. 

AuntJoanieHere, who is a feel good person, says--The gospel is not the only game in town. There are all kinds of religious ideas around. Some are ancient, others are relatively new, and most all of them are pretty good at absorbing other religious ideas (i.e. like the gospel) to manufacture a new hybrid faith. In Colossians 2:4, Paul referred to such things as “plausible arguments.” That’s a pretty positive characterization. He did not claim that competing spiritual ideas were all nutty and zany and just plain weird sounding. No, Paul admitted they were plausible, even reasonable. These ideas came from the lips of intelligent-looking folks. And that was why they were so dangerous! AverageJoe, who is very hard to impress, says—Just because an idea, words, opinions come from intelligent-looking folks does not make them correct.  Just because they come from a good salesperson does not mean they are right.  Or if they come from a pretty woman it doesn’t mean they are right or from a rich person, or a business person, or your wife or your husband, or anyone.  WorldClassLarry says—Don’t get sucked in, figure it out, stay focused, and try to figure out what is right. 

At our family dinner I ate with my niece, her husband and their two boys.  Chirs sells archery equipment to schools all over the country (i.e. it is becoming a very fast growing sport).  Both Chris and Jenn teach and support local archery clubs.  They were telling me that some folks get to a point of success and all of a sudden they can get the yips (i.e. can’t do it, sorta kinda just fall apart). For bow hunters or competitive archers, the yips are more commonly known as target panic. Techniques such as relaxation, visualization or positive thinking can help reduce anxiety, increase concentration a.k.a. focus which can ease the fear of the yips.  It’s more mental than anything.  Mental folks, mental.  Our lives can get to a point that we lose our focus and get target panic.  Mental mental mental folks (i.e. my opinion).  MissPerfect says—Our live is like a bow and arrow. When a bow is constantly strung tight, it loses its power. It has to be unstrung periodically. We need to force ourselves to set realistic goals and then hold ourselves accountable—and ask someone (i.e. coaches who know something) to check up on us in the process, my opinion.

As I told a friend who I met while starting my jog one morning—you will understand this but many won‘t or can’t.  I have had many joys this last week and here is a special joy.  Erin, my 12-year old granddaughter and I were doing some errands together Friday morning.  One was getting the gladiolus for my tribute to Arlene for the front of the church at her memorial service.  Erin could not understand why the church wasn’t locked. I told her that it is never locked (i.e. she could not understand that). Then she helped me arrange the gladiolus.  When we got done, we sat down on the front pew and I prayed with her.  When done, I asked her if she prays and she said—sometimes.  Now that is a joy I had for sure. I will never have that exact opportunity again.  NEVER!    

Have a FUN day my friend unless you have other plans. (-: 

erv 

MyFreindJean says—If the wind will not serve, take to the oars. (Latin Proverb)

If any of you are interested in watching Arlene’s Memorial Service, here is the link  https://www.facebook.com/1419591174974681/posts/2634516406815479/?d=n