Tell on myself

Greetings earthlings!  I’m human and you are human soooo we have something in common.  But "ofsomeofmythinkingstuff" you might not relate to the same way as I do (i.e. big on the maybe).  But maybe.  Could be!  I don’t know.  Sooooo if you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, I understand.  Maybe you come from the other side of the tracks than I do (e.g. if we weren’t raised in the bad side of Baltimore, we probably don’t think the same as those folks that were).  What do you think?  I'm telling on my self here folks--Ya, I had a reader tell me that they think I have lost a screw!  

SUNDAY--The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.  Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise." Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced. "Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum." 

I have been a “showroomer”! I admit it.  I’m telling on myself. I read it in the paper that folks with smart phones do showrooming.  I’m just a miniature one though.  Really.  I was electronically saving my passwords in LastPass (i.e. I use LastPass ‘cause my nephew-in-law a.k.a. the wizard recommended it) and I learned something else.  I learned what plugins are.  I didn’t know exactly what they were sooooo I goggled it for a definition.  It said—COMPUTING A plug-in module or plug-in software.  The funny part was that it also said—CANADIAN An electric outlet for plugging in the block heater of a vehicle in order to keep the engine warm! It made me think of my Canadian friends.  It just made me laugh.  Same word but different meanings!

I listen but sometimes don’t hear what others are saying.  It might be because we are from different generations, have had different environments, have different genes, have different education, or have different egos.  And those are only a few.  There are probably many more reasons.  I believe I just don’t understand many folks.  And I would guess many don’t understand me.  Such is life.

The headline in the paper read--'Tonight Show’ jokes about age of

the Iowa Republicans.  Jimmy Fallon leaned on one of the state’s iconic pop culture references to poke fun at Iowans in the Grand Old Party, whose members are, on average, considerably older than Democrats. “I don’t want to say Republican voters are getting old, but half of those guests were baseball players who walked out of a nearby cornfield,” Fallon said.  “If you caucus, they will come.”  Ok folks, if the rural areas have more Republicans, that probably means they are older (i.e. if that statement is true).  Then those rural areas won’t  be as open to change.  Do you think that is right?

Young voters helped gay marriage win by 62%.  I read this in the paper sooooo it must be right--Friday's emphatic 'Yes" vote to same-sex marriage rights represents a seismic shift in the nation's social liberalization and challenges the Roman Catholic Church to rethink its role in Irish society.  The  Archbishop said--We must not move into denial of the realities...it's a social revolution...the church has a huge task.

I didn’t know what emojis were.  I recently played 9 holes with some buddies.  I really enjoyed myself and my buddies.  We walked.  One of my buddies said he hasn’t done this in the last 20 years.  We didn’t keep score either as there was no score cards left.  I know what I shot and probably everyone else knows what they shot tooooo but it wasn’t a competition between us.  We had great fellowship.  I learned something tooooooo!  I learned what emojis are. It’s actually amazing what I learn with these guys.  Just amazing! 

My rumpus! ItchieBitchie says--I'm a peace loving person, but there is one person walking around this Earth who I would like to paint with hollandaise sauce and toss into a running limb shredder. Did you ever draw a boundary line around someone? You worried that he or she was too fanatical or too dangerous to be around (i.e. they smell and taste like bad milk). Maybe I need my eyes to be opened.  Or am I just being careful?  Am I not tender enough or toooo leery or what? That's my rumpus folks!

More personal hubbub! Well call 911!  I really don’t like to see panhadlers and don’t like to look at them in the eyes when I stop at a stop sign and they’re looking right at me.  They just don’t make me feel good! I give to some and not to others; why, I don’t know for sure (i.e. scientists are still looking into that). I sometimes put fences around certain folks (i.e. don’t want them in my mind as they bother me—little tooooo skanky for me).  That is why we have 55+ gated retirement communities in AZ with fences around them (i.e. toooo keep those other folks out of our minds and lives).  Many times we do put fences around folks who make us "head scratchers" (i.e. our opinions) or make us feel bad (i.e. they affect our emotions).  I sometimes treat them like they have dangerous bacteria that I might catch!   Joesixpack says—erv, I think you are right on the money!  Joesixpack, don’t be too certain, I’m right about 52% of the time soooo it’s about a flip of the coin! 

Two men were riding their horses down a country road, discussing the question of motivation. One believed we’re capable of pure motives, even without Christ. The other disagreed. They came to a ditch where a pig had gotten tangled up in fencing and was struggling to extricate himself. The latter gentlemen got down in the mud and managed to free the animal, though he ruined his clothing. Resuming their trip, the first man said, “There! That was a selfless act of kindness.” But his friend replied, “No, it was pure selfishness. The only reason I helped that pig was to save myself from the guilt and torment of worrying about him all day.”  MissPerfect says--It's sorta kinda the bifurcation of the folks into social do-gooders and self-serving iconoclasts.  Well, maybe MissPerfect, maybe.  

 My bugaboo!  ItchieBitchie says--If you want to make a change in any part of your life, you got be focused and drill it hard for 30 days. Then 30 days become 60 day and 90 days and bingo, you have made a change (i.e. got to have commitment). !  "We all have dreams, in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline and effort." Jesse Owens Olympic gold-medalist runner. SusieQ says--I have made a change but it seems like I get no results.  I wonder why!  Ya gotta stick to the change (i.e. work, work, work at it relentlessly).  If ya don’t, nutten changes. Guaranteed!  Joesixpack says—It’s a lot easier to fall off the wagon that to stay on it.  Many times an extreme circumstance has to happen in my life to force me to change.  Many times I don’t like those extreme events but they do affect my life.  Yes they do.  CrazyMarvin says—Have ya ever just snapped out of something?  It seems like young kids and young adults do that some times.  They seem to just snap out of their rut.  Why, there are probably many reasons.  It appears that the older folks get, the harder it is for them to “snap out of it”!  Why is that do you think? I have learned that the right answer can change over time.  I need to keep looking and looking and looking!  The right answer might change as my environment changes!  Such is life. 

Happenstance, na, I don't think so folks!  I had a conversation with a son of my mentor recently (i.e. my mentor has been dead for 3 years now).  He told me that when his mother (i.e. my mentor's wife) died, his dad (i.e. my mentor), himself and his wife went to their lake cabin for a week.  My mentor either cried or slept the entire week.  They never talked about it but just left him along.  After the week was up, they headed back home.  They were really worried that he would stay this way.  But no!  He just snapped out of it and it was done.  Why I asked.  They didn't know but thought he decided he had go forward or stay in this sad situation and he decided to go forward.  Huh, interesting. 

Triple Crown!  Do you think American Pharaoh will do it today in the Belmont Stakes?  I tell you what, I'm putting my money on WinIfYouWantToProvideSudServiceInTheFuture.  That horse might look like a dog but can it run when it wants toooooooo! It's Jockey #5 YouBetterRunFastOrWeAreBothDogMeat has informed him of the importance of him winning (i.e. he has been whispering it in his ear). He understands what a win means (i.e. stud service or dog meat).   

Some old fart has this on his golf cart!

Some folks are flexible and others are not! The other Sunday it was sooooo windy outside (i.e. IA has a lot of wind in the spring it seems).  I took a nap!  It use to be sorta kinda a tradition in our family as a kid to take a nap Sunday afternoons.  Is that still done by lot of you guys?  Then after the nap time, we would some times go over to our grandparents, Nick and Gertie, for coffee or tea.  I was talking to a senior adult friend about him taking an afternoon nap—his wife said, A NAP, are you kidding me!;  he takes 4 or 5 naps every day—he said, I’m flexible!!  

Telling on myself—My life thoughts have changed over the years, oh ya!  Onesmartperson suggested I get a free credit report and score—how come, I’m not going to borrow any money—well, you can check to see if you have any old credit cards that you forgot about and also it’s just good business.  Sooooo I did it using  https://www.creditkarma.com/  It was pretty friendly.  It might tell something about you that is incorrect or correct.  I had only one source of credit for them to evaluate me (i.e. credit card).  I use my credit card for most everything but have never paid one cent of interest (i.e. I pay it off each month—sorta kinda have your cake and eat it tooooo).  The credit card company actually pays me to use their card!  CA-Dad taught his daughter to not carry a balance and pay up to 20% interest.  At first she just didn’t get it. But she caught on.  My Daddy, Chester, would say—erv, interest is something they pay me, not what I pay them! Such is life.

I tell you what folks!  My life gets dirty and I don’t even know it.  It’s soooo gradual with all the curd and crap that sticks on it like those barnacles that attach to the side of whales.  I don’t even notice it until I start power washing my life.  Then, wow, I find out I have some major dirt on me (i.e. and I didn’t even know it).  Huh, interesting.  My buddy (i.e. he is easy to like) let me use his power washer to clean our drive.  I had no idea it was that dirty.  Huh, interest

Have a FUN day my friends unless you  have other plans. (-:

erv

MyFriendJean says--Your ulcers are not due to what you are eating but to what is eatin' you.