It's Saturday: going tooooo fast

Abraham Lincoln once said--I cannot claim that I am free from error in all the opinions that I advance. Soooo if honest Abe made errors in his opinions, don't expect much from me folks.

ItchieBitchie says--I often wonder why couldn't life be simpler. Why couldn't all revelation be straightforward (i.e. not sooo twisty and curvey. Why does stuff have to be sooooo cryptic? Why all the twists and turns. SlickWillie says—If my path would be clearer, I could gooooo a lot faster and get farther and accomplish more. MissPerfect says--Just remember SlickWillie, the direction you are going will lead you where you'll end up (i.e. you are almost there, where ever that is). This stuff is true or my name is not Hillary Clinton! The paper called her “a wounded queen.” Ouchy ouchy! The paper say that she has a 34 point lead; today it looks like she will be the Demorates' queen (i.e. at least at this point unless her crown falls off). There is a sign between Iowa City and Cedar Rapids on I-380 that says--Hillary, queen of the privileged (i.e. is that a positive statement or a negative statement?). I also read in the paper (i.e. soooo it must be right) that there is now a Queen of Beer. I don't think it has anything to do with Hillary but I don't know for sure. It did say that the King of Beer isn't happy! SlimyHerb says—I lie to myself and all of a sudden I can’t distinguish when I’m lying to myself or when I’m not! ItchieBitchie says--I tell you what folks, I don’t believe half of what SlimyHerb says and the other half isn’t true! Such is life.

I asked a farmer friend Lyle (i.e. anybody can be a Lyle) if he could mix me up a little round up and a little 24d for me. He did. I put some in a couple of hand squirt bottles and labeled them. I went to kill some violets but must of grabbed the wrong bottle. Ouchy ouchy! Your opinion might be—how terrible. Not really. It’s a good optical reminder for me to slow down and double check stuff. Don’t go sooooo fast Xlerator! As my mentor use to say to me—This tooo shall pass. I was telling a friend about my crazy thing and he told me that he sprayed roundup around the trees at their lake home. When they came back the next week there was a trail between the trees that was brown. Either the sprayer didn’t turn off or he forgot (i.e. surely it was the sprayer). And he is a smart guy. I think he was going toooooo fast! But really folks, aren't you glad I'm not your pharmacist!

Augustine's opinion is—Every proud man heeds himself, and he who pleases himself pleases a fool, for he himself is a fool when he pleases himself. WorldClassLarry says--Humility relieves us of the awful stress of trying to be superior all the time. It inverts our attitude and elevates the things we tend to look down on. But I think humility might be illegal in MN (i.e. I think Jessie Ventura made it a law when governor)! If you live in MN you might what to check what the law reads. I don’t want you to get caught with your pants down. Does any of this make any sense to you or am I going toooooo fast for you rich oil folks from North Dakota!

I do sudoku most every day. I learned the tricks and learned to train my mind some to accomplish them (i.e. the more you do the better ya get). ANYWAY I find out that when I think I’m good and cocky is when I make mistakes. Isn’t that interesting. I get going toooooo fast (i.e. big headed). Ouchy ouchy!

I tell you what folks, I can be shortsighted and selfish a.k.a. a real problem to old Xlerator erv. I’m real good at it sometimes (i.e. my opinion). I need to really lookout for myself sometimes. Some times I bet I could appear as a narcissist blowhard. I could give DuaneTheWorm a good run for his money. It happens when I get going tooooooo fast. BUT I get humbled and “bingo”, life takes a turn (i.e. much clearer). That is why silence is sooooo good for me. It slows me down I think.

Slooooooow down! And Job’s answer was--Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know .Bingo! When we are humbled, things look differently now don’t they. Being humbled makes me slow down. At least it does me for a little while. Oh the patience of Job.

Jeepers Creepers! Some of my buddies told me that I was toooo impatient with Red Cross giving blood the day I left (i.e. maybe they were pulling my chain and maybe not; ANYWAY I listened to their evaluation of me). They were giving blood toooo the same day. One said he had an appointment and had to wait half an hour and said--I just expect that from them. Huh, Interesting. Ok folks, if they would change to my standards, my buddies who are patient (i.e. and folks like them) would still be happy and I (i.e. and folks like me) would be happy tooo. Now that makes sense to me. In soooo many words (i.e. their opinion) they said I was sorta kinda just becoming a crotchety old coot and my mind is a vortex! Could be. But I don’t have to be around situations that upset me or around folks that upset me, do I? Especially if I don't need to be around them. No I don’t. Even if I’m impatient and my expectations are higher than some. After my conversation with my buddies, we met some friends at the Blue Bird Cafe in North Liberty. I told our waitress, Cortney, that some buddies that morning think I might be becoming a crotchety old coot. When we left she said I was ok and I was not a crotchety old coot. LuckieEddie says--It is soooo easy to be just average in life (i.e. **); to just be average and get by; it doesn't take much effort to be average. Such is life.

Not soooooo fast buddies! Oh by the way, those buddies are farmers. They become "crazies"

during planting and harvesting times (i.e. my opinion). They would never even think about showing up to give blood then. Their time is toooo valuable they think (i.e. time is money). I'm just pulling their chain ha ha! Maybe I'm taking time during my harvesting and planting times to give blood. Maybe my time at home is very important and valuable. Huh, interesting.

Two folks did call me from Red Cross about my opinions about their methodology. They were very nice and appeared to be concerned. We had nice conversations and they asked me what I thought might help their process (i.e. just my opinion). I said I will probably give blood again as I think Red Cross is good and it’s also the right thing to do. Sooooo I went to gave blood Thursday at a local blood drive. I used their new RapidPass web site where you can answer all the questions and keep it on your mobile device to speed up the process (i.e. seee they are working on speeding it up for folks like me—it is 2015 folks--shoppers now can buy groceries on line using their smart phone from HyVee). ANYWAY Soooo I had an appointment at 4:15. A hireling greeted me and asked if I had an appointment (i.e. they now honor appointments--wow). They scanned my RapidPass on my phone, asked a few question and sucked my blood. I was out of the door at 5--wow. Hats off to Red Cross for changing their methodology. I played pickle ball that night and mentioned it to our group playing (i.e. one was a friend who wouldn't give because of their poor process). He said he would do it now. Bingo. I suggest others of you who quite 'cause of the poor methodology, to give them a try. Giving blood is very rewarding (i.e. my opinion). To the Red Cross I say YAHOO!

I went for a morning bike ride in the rain the other day. SusieQ asked me—erv, why in the world would you want to ride in the ran anyway! I tell you what SusieQ, it was xlerating, exciting and fun, that’s why (i.e. it slowed me down for a bit). Besides, some of you know that I get bored easily and I like an occasionally rainy day. It was perfect. It was like dancing in the rain! LuckieEddie says—erv, I think your mind goes tooooo fast sometimes. Remember the summer of 36 and how dry it was and when it rained the folks were dancing in the rain. You don’t remember that nor do I as we weren’t born yet. Some of you old timers remember it. Of course it helped a little that they were into AuntTilley’s homemade dandelion wine It was a great excuse to break it out! Folks, I really enjoyed my ride in the rain. Yes I did.but no AuntTilley's homemade dandelion wine! Such is life.

Going to fast on the curve! The other day when riding bike north of town, a truck was coming up from behind me on a sharp curve. He slowed down and was very obliging to me. Sooo I got on the shoulder soooo he could go around. As I was going back on the hard surface, I didn’t notice that there was maybe a 3 to 4 inch rise between the hard surface and the shoulder probably because of erosion. I almost lost control. It was sooooo close. I should have just got on the shoulder and stopped. But I didn’t. I was going tooooo fast! A friend Jim (i.e. anybody can be a Jim) told me that he crashed his mountain bike and had like 30 stickies and messed up his shoulder. I asked him what happened—going to fast!

I need to get hit in the head by a 2 x 4 sooooo I learn to slow down. We were invited by our friends Jim and Karen (i.e. living the life of Riley--we are very happy for them) to go for a ride on their Party Barge on the Mighty Mississippi. We walked down to the floating dock of the marine and approached the slip where their pontoon was in. I was going to get in and obviously was going to fast (i.e. tooooo fast and excited I guess) and smashed my head into an overhead 2 x 4. Through the years I have skinned up my head and skinned up my chins sooooo many times by going tooooo fast. You would think I would learn to slow down. Not yet it seems. Such is life on the fast merrygoround! Let’s get going Cupcake, we’re burning daylight!

We hear folks say that the world is going tooooooo fast with all the technology. It makes folks’ heads spin. I wonder if it has always been that way and we just don’t realize it. What do you think. I read in the paper sooooo it must be right that 1,600,000 folks die prematurely each year in China from dirty air. That is about 1% of their population each year. Maybe they think 1% is a small price to pay for going forward at a very fast pace. Could be. Joesixpack says, that 1% is okay as long as I’m not in that 1%! Maybe China thinks like Napoleon did. Napoleon lost a lot of troops and was criticized about all the causalities. He said—It’s nothing a hot night in Paris won’t correct!

Hold your horses! Will you slow down and have one for the road! There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London, which used to have a gallows adjacent to it. Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hanged. The horse-drawn dray, carting the prisoner, was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ''one last drink''. If he said yes, it was referred to as "one for the road." If he declined, that prisoner was "on the wagon."