how does that grab you

CrazyMarvin say--There's nothing that you can sell me or give me that can make me happy. ManOhMan CrazyMarvin, you must be in a crazy state of mind.  Surely there must be something to perk up your spirits.  There has to beeeee. I think you need to know someone cares about you. 

I must be different (i.e. some of you say—Da, what’s new).  I like Sun Maid Raisin bread with the cinnamon swirl with “raisins in every bite” (i.e. that is what it says on the package). It also says on the package “since 1912” soooo others must like it tooooo.  Soooo maybe I’m not all that different.  BUT, the bread man or bread lady comes to supply bread to the 3-Star store every Tuesday and just leaves only one loaf.  I must be the only person who eats it (i.e. you folks don’t know what you are missing—put some extra sharp cheddar cheese on it and have it with coffee—delicious). I asked the store clerk why only one loaf—supply and demand I guess she said. This just makes me laugh!

When reading the study manual for my motorcycle test it said this—signal lights tell others what you plan to do (i.e. even more important when driving a motorcycle).  Use them all the time; even when you think no one else is around. It’s the car that you don’t see that’s going to give you the most trouble.  That’s why it’s a good idea to use your turn signal even when what you plan to do is obvious.  How does that grab you?  Ok folks, here is some things quite obvious but…!

I am using no sugarcoating folks! You might not what to read this “It’s Saturday.” Some of you might think I have really bad bed-side manners (i.e. toooo blunt and to the point).  Really folks, I don’t what to make you feel bad.  Sooooo I’m warning you up front. If you think this might bother you, go and play a game on your computer or something.  I don’t want to hurt our relationship in any way.  I want to be politically correct (e.g. a golf buddy gives all putts; he wants everyone to like him). I want our grandkids to like me sooooo I give them exactly what they each like ha ha. Bingo! Little Jimmer said—Grandpa, how did you know I like this stuff—I goggled it!  He looked puzzled.

SusieQ says—Let’s see how this grabs you! You probably won’t find this trivia in Trivia Pursuit but it’s interesting.  70% of caregivers over 70, die before the person they are caregiving for (i.e. I’m not talking make-believe movies here folks). Would you help a friend through the roof?  Some of you won’t understand what that means.  Others of you might think you know what that means but you will be wrong.  And others of you will know exactly what it means. What more can I say!  LuckieEddie says—I take that as a slap in the chops.  Hey LuckieEddie, on the sunnyside, it is what it is! Saturday question—Would you help a friend through the roof?

I have attended several support groups for Alzheimer’s caregivers, I have read a lot about caregiving and heard experts speak about caregiving.  One thing I hear a lot about is that caregivers have to take care of themselves (i.e. can’t be a good care giver if you don’t).  Folks say to me sooooo often—take care of yourself now erv (i.e. now that is a speed bump). Soooo I hear amongst other caregivers that they hear the same thing.  But how can caregivers take care of themselves?  Experts say—Stay connected to interests and friends, get away from the negative environment, pursue your hobbies etc.  Great, but that is hard without support of some kind.  TomTerrific says--Talk is cheap! Most folks really don’t like doing this sort of stuff; let’s be honest (i.e. being around folks with dementia isn’t all soooo much fun).  Folks tell me that all the time--I can’t do that; I don’t know what to say or act; I just can’t do it: how about it if I just pray for you (i.e. or maybe give you a $20). That might sound preposterous but “splash”, it happens. 

I'm pretty personal here folks; it might bother you soooo you might not want to read on; it might grab your sub-conscious!  ha ha  Caregiving, I seem to handle consciously ok; I think I have a good grip on it.  But I wonder if it bothers my sub-conscious. The sub-conscious is hard to measure (i.e. get a grip on).  It’s seems to be like it’s a form of brainwashing or could be anyway (e.g. like watching the NBC news).  What do you think?

Arlene’s Alzheimer’s disease continues to eat her brain away.  That is the way the disease works.  She continues to digress and she knows it which is amazing to me.  I try to be patient; it’ a challenge.  My life is now in 1st gear and getting close to granny gear.  That’s just the way it is.  I hope none of you will ever understand what I’m talking about.  I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy (i.e. well maybe I would just to one person—ha ha). 

PickleballJoe was sitting next to me as I was putting my flip-flops back on to head out (i.e. I play at 7 a.m. soooo I can get home before Arlene gets up).  He asks my how Arlene is doing—I give a short answer—He says—My mother died of Alzheimer’s and I had a sibling who died from it and another sibling who has it.  Wow, you know what it is all about—I sure do; it’s a terrible disease; maybe the worst.  I had to wonder what pickleballJoe was thinking as Alzheimer’s is a hereditary disease.

Arlene can’t put on her pants but does understand her situation (i.e. crazy). When I am going to do something, she says—careful.  Meaning and understanding that if something happens to me, she would have to go into a care facility.  There is no choice. She understands that even though we have never talked about it.  That is Alene’s mindset; she has always been very sweet and kind and she still is (e.g. I mowed the lawn with my torn hamstring. Did it on one leg while dragging the other. Alene came out of the house and said to me—me mow; she felt bad for me. She has never mowed the lawn).  That is why I love her soooo much.  Those of you who have aggressive, in charge personalities probably won’t understand that (i.e. it really doesn’t matter).  But maybe in a blink of an eye you might have toooooo (i.e. I hope not). Such is life.

I read this while eating my oatmeal with half a banana on it--We tend to be preoccupied by our problems when we have a heightened sense of vulnerability and a diminished sense of power. Today, see each problem as an invitation to prayer. ---John Ortberg   ~   Hope isn’t the same as optimism. It isn’t the belief that something bad will turn out well. It’s the absolute confidence that every part of your life ultimately makes sense regardless of how it turns out this side of eternity. God is our Hope. How does that grab ya?

WoldClassLarry says--If you’re one of the people who struggles to ask for what you want or need (like me), pause for a moment. You feel good when you help other people, right? Soooo let others help you if you need help. If you’re reluctant to ask for something when you need it, you’re depriving people – often those you care about – of the joy that comes from helping others.  WorldClassLarry--I must admit that I was raised by Chester and Anna to take care of myself and don’t ask for help.  BUT there will come a time that I will need help taking care of Arlene (i.e. it’s getting closer).  I wonder if I will give others the opportunity to help me.  I hope soooo but I’m pretty crazy sooooo we will seeeee. Gosh golly, I hope I have enough guts to ask for help.  ItichieBitchie says--But erv, you got to remember some folks are just tooooo busy (i.e. calendar is full) making money or trying to impress others; they have their own life and situations.  I truly understand that ItichieBitchie.  I really do.

It's horrendous and horrific! I’m sooo lucky in sooooo many ways (i.e. crazy good) and yet seem soooo unlucky in sooooo many ways (i.e. crazy bad). For many, life is unfair it seems.  The only thing that’s fair is the Butler County Fair and that’s in June.  Look at the sign, I’m not kidding folks.  I say that “tongue in cheek!”

GeogeTheCrook says-I’m a caregiver for my wife who has Alzheimer’s and my friend Jim Beam seems to help.  Don’t kid yourself folks, for many it easies the pain (i.e. let’s be real—it dulls reality).  Such is life. 

You might not want to read this part either!!!!! I have always told folks who complain to me be about something (i.e. especially our children)—Don’t complain about it to me, do something to correct the situation.  ProblemSolverDean says—There are a lot of complainers but not many doers (i.e. don’t find or don’t want to find a solution to the problem).  Ok here is an OPPORTUNITY  toooooo be a doer.  Many folks don’t like me to say—I have an opportunity for you!  ha ha  AverageJoe says—Opportunities always have opposition a.k.a. pushback!    A Lutheran church in Mesa offers adult day care in the church sooooo caregivers can have some time off.  Wow! Ya, that is what I say.  IckieVikie says--Many would rather have the pastor pray for folks with Alzheimer’s during a prayer on Sunday or give $20.  LOL How does that grab you? ANYWAY

Our Savior's Lutheran Church in Mesa, AZ    Caring Hands and Hearts From their web site What is Caring Hands? Firstly, Caring Hands, will provide care for individuals In Home so that their regular care-giver may have a time for rest, or to be able to be away from home for a period of time.  If you have a need in this area, please call the church office at 480-984-5555 to be put in touch with persons who can help.  Secondly, Caring Hands provides Adult Care Day, which is held every Thursday from 1:00-4:00pm in the Community Room at the East Mesa Campus.  Care receivers may be brought to Adult Care Day, where they will be involved in different activities throughout the afternoon suited especially for them.  Games, music, movies, individual attention, lunch and more comprise the afternoon activities.  If you have someone that you feel would enjoy Adult Care Day, please contact the church. --f you would like to be a care giver in Caring Hands, please call us so that we can have one of our Caring Hands leaders be in touch with you. --  I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.

Have you ever been going to ride a horse but was scared?  And the horse knew it immediately (i.e. how do they know that anyway).  We had a horse, Queen, on the farm growing up a mile and fourth south of Roseland, MN. She was a very gentle and good natured horse. But when our cousin from the city came and wanted to ride her, she took him under the clothes line and knocked him off.  I think Queen laughed her head off but kept a straight face!  ANYWAY Arlene can sense phony people.  She can’t remember or understand many things but you can’t fool her by being phony.  She is not much impressed with those who think they are part of the “elite huddle.” She doesn’t care much to be around them. OurSweetNeighbor says--Who does!  I bought some fidget spinners from a young friend (i.e. he made them).  He delivered them when I was gone.  When I got back Arlene showed them to me and said—boy nice!  You know what folks, that boy is very nice.  Sooooo how does that grab you?

This is also hard for me to understand.  Arlene’s comprehension and cognitive thinking are not very good but she is very appreciative of me taking care of her.  She says thank you to me many times and tells me she loves me often along with a hug and a kiss sometimes.  It happens just out of the blue.  Amazing.  Just amazing.  That’s my Arlene.

This is me!  Maybe you think I’m crazy but it is still me.  I like to be alone; in complete silence (i.e. not any outside stimuli).  I like to sit and think and meditate. It is very relaxing and stimulating to me.  It’s better than ice cream!  I really think that is good for anyone but especially a caregiver.  I can find that solute early in the morning or late at night or on a run, bike ride, walk or sitting in our sun porch.  I realize that some of you think that’s just a waste of time.  To me, it’s a great investment.  Such is life.

We never thought such things as Alzheimer’s would happen in our life (i.e. it wasn’t in the script almost 49 years ago when we got married).  We thought we are going to have a happy, great life (i.e. the good life—we did until this speed bump; and we still pretty much do). SusieQ says--Get some bounceback erv;  rub some dirt on it; suck it up erv and let’s get going.  A friend a.k.a. onesmartguy was quoted and his quote was printed on the front page of the paper—“Let’s go out and make it the best it can be.” How does that grab you?

A couple of friends posted this on Facebook. I agree with them and the author.  How does that grab you?  That is what I thought!  Such is life.  

Have a FUN day my friends unless you have other plans. (-:

erv

MyFriendJean says—All the people smile the same language.

P.S. I hope I can have a tough hide and a tender heart.